In Other News

Since pretty much all popular American media outlets are using every minute of non-commercial time to beat the dead horse that evolved from the Royal Wedding to the death of Osama bin Laden

Honestly he should be happy he got those 10 extra years to live and we didn't forget that we were still in the Middle East to look for him

I have decided to take this opportunity to feature the other events taking place in the world because while it might come as a surprise to everyone watching CNN, Fox News, or MSNBC the past few days, there are other things going on and the world has not stopped because a Navy Seal blew bin Laden’s head off.

Since our country seems to so often forget that tragedy happens right here in the good old U-S-of-A I have decided to begin with the devastation caused by extremely severe weather in multiple southeastern states. This was one of the top stories before bin Laden’s death, but the people affected who probably don’t really care that we finally found the FBI’s most wanted because THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE A HOUSE ANYMORE have been forgotten. Don’t worry though, Charlie Sheen has vowed to raise money for the victims. In my opinion you must be pretty desperate to write to Charlie Sheen for help, but now that most people have stopped thinking about these poor individuals who did nothing to deserve this and had no control over their fate I guess you have to do what you have to do. Almost 350 people have died so far from the severe storms and the rescue effort continues as emergency responders search impacted homes and surrounding areas. Not only were these states just rocked by a historic amount of tornados, but the end is not close in sight.

Not something I would want to wake up heart goes out to all the people affected

Tornados are not the only thing making life incredibly difficult for people in the affected areas. The future of many farmers in Missouri is unknown due to massive amounts of rain forcing the Army Corps of Engineers to explode a levee in order to protect the small town of Cairo. Unfortunately diverting this water puts acres of farmland underwater for at least an entire growing season and takes away many farmer’s means of living causing them even more economic stress.

Another important story that directly impacts the United States comes from one more ridiculous midwest politician, but this time it was not Wisconsin politics that started this terrible trend in legislation. Just like Scott Walker took the first move in abolishing unions on the state level, possibly to further his political career, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels has pushed a bill forward that would prevent Planned Parenthood from using Medicaid funding and leave thousands of women without access to life saving health services. Radical conservatives seem to believe that by cutting as much funding for Planned Parenthood they can they are preventing abortion services from be being accessed and performed.

Similar moves to cut funding for Planned Parenthood were some of the main issues that kept the budget debate going until the very last moment and made our representatives look like a bunch of clueless, stubborn, selfish babies.
Ironic thing is? It is already completely illegal for federal funding to be used for elective abortions and the realllll majority of services Planned Parenthood offers are preventative services….and no, not live birth prevention services. These constantly protested clinics are miracles to thousands of women across the country who desperately need care like STD tests, and breast and cervical cancer exams, which are recommended to receive frequently if you show risk signs for developing cancerous cells. The services Planned Parenthood offers teenage girls are also incredible and I can say this from experience. Thanks to them I was able to protect myself from getting pregnant in high school when I didn’t know where else to go for birth control.

Counter Protests are Never a Bad Thing 🙂

Girls who are not so lucky and do get pregnant also greatly rely on their services to ensure their baby is healthy even when they are not so sure how to make that happen. The problems that will come from preventing funding for Planned Parenthood services far out number the problems the services may cause, but that is easy to overlook when you have a penis and never had to worry about having another human being growing inside of you or want to protect your health, but don’t know where to go for help.

Not a place I would want to call home

Prisoners in Venezuela have some how taken a cue from the protests in the Middle East and taken to using extreme violence to negotiate their demands. In order to force the government to deal with an alleged TB break out in the prison, prisoners took the prison director and 21 other workers hostage inside of the penitentiary. Not only were the prisoners able to take control of the prison in an act of protest, but just like in other parts of the world the Venezuelan government is refusing to negotiate with the prisoners until they release the hostages, which does not seem like the most effective strategy to me. Prisoners taking over their prison is not an uncommon occurrence in Latin America and the increase of drug cartel arrests in Mexico is causing large groups of the same gang to populate individual prisons. Instead of receiving a punishment, the cartels are able to continue with their criminal activities, sometimes the warden is even in on the corruption. The prison system in Mexico is so messed up and out of control that last December 141 prisoners were able to just up and leave through the front door their prison close to the United States border.

Just another day in drug cartel controlled paradise

Finally I chose to wrap up this brief supplement to the repetitive discourse coming from our news outlets with a story from the homeland of my favorite Hitler wanna-be. Fighting most definitely not cooled off and about 12 hours ago Gaddafi loyalists responded to a NATO airstrike by attacking Zintan, which is currently controlled by rebels. However, Gaddafi forces have a much more effective NATO airstrike to be seeking revenge for. Saturday NATO managed to kill one of Gaddafi’s sons Saif al-Arab Gadhafi and 3 of his grandkids, but maybe Osama should have hit up Gaddafi for some tips because the dictator and his wife were not killed by the attack, even though they were in the home at the time.

Atleast he loves himself

All sides in the conflict, including NATO, which seems to be doing a not so favorable job handling the situation, now seem to be refusing to negotiate since no one trusts that their demands will actually be followed, or even listened to. Not only is the violence getting worse, but the innocent citizens not involved in the rebellion who are forced to just sit and wait for the civil war to end have been blocked from receiving humanitarian aid they are in critical need of. I can see why Gaddafi is getting so mad, NATO did kill his 2 and 3 year old grandchildren, but he should have thought about the consequences before he decided that he was the only person allowed to rule the country whether he had popular support or not.

Thats all I will leave you with right now, but as a closing note pleasseee remember that there is more to what is going on in the world than what is being reported by the mainstream media. Even I don’t know what all is out there and I admit my access is pretty limited, but I do know I want to find out what that other stuff is. This stuff may not be that newsworthy right now, but it is still super important. Plus until they release the pictures of the body there is nothing new to know and it wasn’t that interesting without physical proof to begin with anyways.


About Sass Monsters

We're the Sasses. Join us on our journey as we take on the world, and record all the juicy details.
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