I’m just going to flat out say it: I don’t get women. Even though I have no doubt that I was born a woman and AM a woman, I still have very serious trouble understanding the gender in general. Now, men, I get. They’re really not too difficult to figure out. Most say what they actually mean and those that don’t are usually just lying pieces of shit. They play particular games and say particular things that always have a certain meaning. Therefore, all you have to do is pick up on the body language, know what words have which meaning, and just play along. A guy who just wants sex will make it very obvious. A man who is very emotional will make it very plain that he is needy. A man who is carefree and just looking for a good time will do just that: be carefree and have a good time. But girls, females, ladies, women! They never say what they mean, they play games around the clock that aren’t even FUN, and they always get way too emotional about way too many things. I don’t blame men for getting fed up and just throwing up their hands and saying “Hell with it! I’m not going to spend another second dating crazy females” But I am also a woman. Which means that naturally, I may have those inclinations that I just admitted were disgusting and stupid. Therefore, I do everything in my power to squelch any sign of feminine “tendencies” when it comes to men and relationships. However, its taken me a long time to get to the point where I am now, which is a confident, wholesome, and well- rounded woman who knows what she wants in a man and won’t settle until she gets it. It sounds ridiculous writing out what has been sort of the “man model” in my head, but I think I can perhaps help out a few people when it comes to understanding the female mind, and vice versa, how the man deals with being around that mind.
Perhaps the greatest little secret I can reveal to the public (male or female) about women is that the more emotional a woman is, the more jealous she is, the more crazy she is in general, the more INSECURE that woman is in herself. A woman who is not
confident in her capabilities, and doesn’t trust her choices and instincts implicitly, will tend to externalize those thoughts and feelings in very illogical ways. For example, an insecure girl with a boyfriend will probably not love it when her guy goes out with his boys for a night. Why? Is it the fact that she’s jealous of the face time her guy is getting with his boys? Not necessarily. In fact, probably not at all. The truth is, she probably is afraid that in going out with his guys, her man will be exposed to other girls, and possibly be tempted to talk to one of them/flirt with them/make out with them/sleep with them… and that is literally the thought process. So one minute, you’re just going out for a drink with Harry and Larry, when all of a sudden your girlfriend’s
accusing you of cheating on her with a stripper….???? The idea is to recognize that this is what this means. Then, you must ask yourself, why would she feel this way? She may feel this because you’ve cheated on her in the past, or if someone else has cheated on her in the past, or maybe no one has cheated on her in the past and for some reason, she’s still insecure about herself, and the list goes on and on. Then you have to ask yourself, am I really willing to deal with this? Some guys are, some guys are not. It always depends on the person and the circumstance. Don’t mistake me in thinking I am generalizing all situations in these relationships, but women are emotional and therefore, can sort of get away with these things more?? I’m not trying to say cut them a break, because I am a woman and realize its not acceptable to behave like a crazed fool, but I also think there are a lot of damaged people out there who really don’t know how to cope with their circumstances, and it just comes out all wrong. I’m just saying its up to the particular person in the relationship to decide whether or not they can deal with it.
I would like to add one disclaimer about women, especially those living in America. The
media and Hollywood takes up more of the American people’s time than practically anything else, even really important stuff like crazy international events. So a lot of what we take in as American women is materialistic mumbo jumbo, like being stick thin skinny and finding ways to make men want you with a simple “come hither look,” as I learned in last month’s issue of Cosmo. This is why I thought it important to point out the sources of many people’s expectations of romantic relationships, which for Americans, is found in our movies and magazines. Not the best sources at all for realistic relationship expectations.
On the plus side (and I realize how much this is starting to sound like a sales pitch), women are very deep, beautiful creatures that can be truly awesome to be around. I have many women in my life I truly love, including my crazy sass sister Celia. Women look at life in a different way, they have a unique perspective and awareness of certain elements in life, including caring and understanding for people in a way that is sometimes daunting. A woman has a lot of love to give, and one has to be careful when getting entangled in that, and vice versa, a woman has to be careful about who she gives this too. Give it to life, give it to passions, give it to your pursuits, but don’t throw all of it into the lap of ONE MAN! No wonder you’re scaring him off/freaking him out/pissing him off. This is my greatest pet peeve with women, the fact that we somehow, someway, always find the means to throw all of our energy into loving a single man…??? There’s so much more to life than men, and vice versa, so much more than women. You can’t reserve all that pent up love and energy for the first guy who comes along and seems interested. Its just silly. I for one am spreading my love out to encompass my friends, my family, my schooling, my blog, music, and my God. So if you’re a woman out there who knows exactly what I’m talking about because you, yourself are guilty of giving all your energy, passion,
and love to one man… STOP it. Its just not cool and you’re making the rest of us look ridiculous. And vice versa, for all those guys out there who are eating up the attention you receive from your lady friend who is oh so madly in love with you, STOP it too. You’re pathetic for taking advantage. Come on, dude, you can still wake up in the morning and go about your day without the eight text messages waiting for you when you wake up that say many forms of the rendition: “Good morning, baby!” So on and so forth. This is a key reason why I avoid relationships, at least for now while I’m young and aspiring. They are too much drama and too much immaturity for a woman with her head on straight as a horizontal line, the way that mine is. I realize I sound cocky as hell in saying this, but I don’t care. I’m confident, I know what I want, and I realize I might WAIT a long time to get it, but I’m waiting just the same. I’m not going to waste my time distracting myself with a guy who isn’t good enough for me in the mean time. Instead, I will devote time and energy to worthy pursuits, like school and learning and blogging, as well as to good people, like friends, family, and what the heck? Might as well throw the poor in there too.